According to Scripture, do fathers have a role in raising children? If so, what exactly does that involve? And what does all of this have to do with the first human couple? In this article, we will examine these questions in the light of the Bible.

Adam’s Sin

After God created Adam and placed him in the Garden of Eden, He commanded him not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:17). Later, Eve, whom God had given to Adam as a helper, yielded to the serpent’s temptation, ate the fruit from the tree, and also gave some to her husband, who was with her (Genesis 3:6).

Interestingly, the New Testament refers to this event as “Adam’s sin” (e.g., Romans 5:14), even though he ate the fruit only after Eve had done so. Of course, we know that Eve also sinned, since she too received punishment from God, but the Bible nevertheless does not associate the rebellion against God with her name, but rather with Adam’s.

Theologians explain this phenomenon in various ways, but one of the simplest and most obvious explanations is that Adam was considered to have sinned in the Fall because God had given the command to Adam (before Eve had even been created). In other words, we can say that

God holds accountable the person to whom He gave the command for carrying out that command.

The Responsibility of Fathers

In the New Testament, in his letter to the church in Ephesus, the apostle Paul gives a specific command to Christian fathers when he says:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

If, in the case of Adam, God held accountable the person to whom He gave the command for carrying it out, then Paul’s words should be especially important for us as Christian fathers to pay attention to. This means that God will primarily hold us, fathers, accountable for the responsibility of raising our children—even when, in practice, we are not the ones directly carrying it out. In God’s eyes, we are personally responsible for who teaches our children and what they are taught—whether it is our wives, their teachers, their classmates, or their siblings.

But is this not unjust on God’s part? After all, in most cases we fathers work hard to provide for the physical needs of our families. Why does God hold us accountable for what happens to our children when we are not even able to be physically present in their lives? Furthermore, we ourselves were not raised this way, and even in the church this is not what is usually taught. Besides, who knows—perhaps Paul was not even saying this to every father, but only to the members of the church in Ephesus, right?

We are free to respond to the words of the apostle Paul with such excuses or similar arguments. The question is whether we will have the courage to present these objections before the judgment seat of Christ on the last day as well. On the other hand, we should recognize that when we respond to God’s Word in this way, we are essentially behaving just like Adam. His first reaction was also to shift the responsibility onto someone else—onto Eve. And we, as descendants of Adam, are likewise inclined to shift responsibility onto others: onto our parents (because they did not raise us this way), onto our spiritual leaders (because they did not teach this), or even onto the apostle Paul (because he did not include the same command in all of his letters).

Isn’t That Enough?

But someone might argue in the following way: “The apostle Paul says that fathers should raise their children according to the instruction of the Lord. I fully agree with him and I truly strive to do this when I am with my family. It is true that, because of work and school, I cannot spend as much time with them as I would like, but whenever I have the opportunity, I genuinely try to raise them according to Paul’s instruction. Isn’t that enough?”

The answer can be more easily understood through the following analogy: Suppose we travel abroad for an extended period of time and ask our neighbor to take care of the fruit trees in our garden. Our neighbor comes over every day and spends a few hours watering, cultivating, and caring for the plants. However, whenever he leaves, various rodents and malicious people regularly enter the garden and damage the fruit trees in different ways: they break branches, pick half-ripe fruit, and chew on the leaves. The neighbor tries to repair the damage each day while he is in the garden, but as soon as he leaves, the same destruction happens again the next day.

When we return and hold our neighbor accountable, asking why the branches of the fruit trees are broken and why the leaves have been chewed, how would we react if he answered: “It is true that I was not always able to be here in the garden, but whenever I was here, I took care of the trees”?

Would it not have been reasonable to expect our neighbor to do everything within his power to ensure that the fruit trees remained safe even in his absence?

Conclusion

Let us suppose, nevertheless, that those who believe Paul’s words do not directly apply to them—for various reasons—are correct. Imagine that a Christian father still takes these words seriously (even though he is mistaken, according to that view) and takes responsibility for raising his children. What will God say to this father on the last day? Will He perhaps punish him for having “taken His Word too seriously”? Honestly, I find that difficult to imagine (although perhaps my imagination is simply limited). In that case, we have nothing to lose by taking Paul’s words to heart. But if we treat lightly what God intends to be taken seriously, there will certainly be consequences (even if not with regard to our salvation). In other words, if there is even a small possibility that Paul’s words apply to us as well, then overall we are better off treating them accordingly.

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Notes

Cover art: Adam and Eve by Albrecht Dürer (1504) (Source: Wikimedia)